Abstract:

My project will bring myself and the viewer uncomfortably into my face as I face my struggles. I will show the awkward, questioning, wincing, ugly, and determined faces I go through while I am trying to focus my mind on place. I am seeking place within my mind through meditation; here, you will look at my mind and glimpse at my physical presence while I move through space. As I put myself into such an unattractive and unrestricted place, I aim to inspire others to push themselves well beyond their comfort zone. This video project will cause the viewer to question yet, most importantly, laugh as I am to show the joy in going through these struggles on the must surfaced level while connecting to and commenting on the superficial level of social media that we mostly consume.

Artist Statement:

do you see

can you see through me

from within

Background Information:

Marina Abramović and Francois Bourgeois are my inspiration for my final project in finding place. I must say that my performative video for my first project is what pushed this ball rolling as well. The camera angle for that and my next project is inspired by the famous trainspotting TikTok star Francis_Bourgeois43. Here is a link to his Instagram https://www.instagram.com/francis_bourgeois43/?hl=en

For reference. While Marina Abramović’s 1975 film Art

Must Be Beautiful, Artist Must Be Beautiful has been my guiding light since I first witnessed it. Though I find her work at the front of my mind after reading Wanderlust as she goes through a mantra while torturing her body to create art. See a YouTube here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kXnrVDxtyc

This will be my fourth performative video as I am leaning into myself to create the works. I will attach the last three to this proposal.

I find Francois’s videos where the unattractive angle of his camera translates his train obsession down to what is joy personified as we are placed into what becomes a part of his joy without the need for the actual train to absorb his expression. My goal is to create videos and video here that explores a deep thought within myself that translates to others but with a severe moment of joy to disrupt it. Marina and Francois’s videos are the end of the spectrum that I want to unite in finding my place. In my videos, I have struggled to light a cigarette and made a cut to the lip or overall silly actions to bring that joy in a moment within my work. More recently, I acted as if someone was chasing me from their garden.  

In this work, I want the ridiculous angle of the shot to be a base layer of silliness while having my deep reflection during the struggle bring the view to a questioning point beyond the silly or uncomfortable face that centers the image.

I hope this work to be defined by others in their unique way. I want the viewer to see a moment they can relate to instead of defining what this place or moment means to me as my own way to put that onto the viewer.

Methods,

Over three days, I will commit myself to bringing this camera to all my workouts that do not have others in the background. I am most concerned with my eyes showing effort and contemplation. For this, heat, cold, and exhaustion will be critical. I will find a mantra for each day and say it in the video as I move. I hope to find a single-shot moment that covers my mission. Without that moment, I will have three days of footage to translate the mission.

I will need a headband with a GoPro Max to have the 360-degree view and stabilization to meet Francois’s style. That can be found here for $594.97 https://gopro.com/en/us/shop/cameras/max/CHDHZ-202-master.html?option-id=MAX-Enduro-Grip-Bundle

And the Headband for $24.99 here.

https://gopro.com/en/us/shop/mounts-accessories/head-strap-2.0/ACHOM-002.html

I have the memory cards and the computer to process the footage, but that is around $3000.00 if I did not have the equipment already.

This will be processed on PremierPro and Adobe Software that the school provides but does cost $20.99 a month without the much more expensive tuition fee to The University of Arizona.

Time will be extensive as I will do many sessions to test sound and image, then have long sessions to create the transitions in my face. But the equipment of shoes and other exercise equipment is omitted yet are recognized as privileges that enable the project.

I plan to use the three days before the project’s due date as a focused time to experiment and execute the project but not under a specific schedule. This capturing of meditation in movement cannot come to a precise second without giving time to allow the moment to happen.